My gastric is acting up again . Am so hungry till I feel like vomiting ..
Everyone , just leave .. I will find people to replace every single one of you , definitely !

Labels: Messy

9/24/2010 08:42:00 PM thus; ibuzzed Y

Happy birthday, my beloved Ros.. Seems like the 4 of us, or rather, I am drifting apart from you guys.. It hurts when I think of it, seriously feel so sad. But I can't do anything? Everybody seems so busy..
Suddenly remeber an email that I came across long time ago. It is something like this:
We use to be best friends. However, as the years goes past, we started to drift apart. We always wanted to contact each other but we would always think that "they are busy" so we shouldn't disturb them. And days goes past.. Our relationship will finally end up as a past tense..

I really don't wish for this to happen .. Haiz

Labels: Happy birthday ros . Love u

9/24/2010 07:53:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

Darling, I am just Seventeen; only Seventeen..

Extremely tired; be it mentally or physically.
Broke down just now the moment I reach home.

Scott was drinking for the past many many days. And because of it, I am getting home early in the morning, taking care for Scott that is drunk, facing the anger and coldness from both my parents & brothers, feeling the coldness of my home, getting worried about Scott & etc.. Getting real tired of it.
Dear, I am only Seventeen.

It is ok you know, I don't regret things that I'd did. I really won't.
For your sake, although it is tough for me, I am willing to have a cold war with my family.
For your sake, although it is tough for me, I am willing to rest less than what I need.
But what had you shown me?
Getting drunk, getting seh, getting out-of-your-mind?

Do you know how angry was I just now at Kovan?
Do you know that I am so pissed off that I can laugh, cry & be angry at the same time?
Do you know this kind of feeling? I was so angry till I can't control myself!
And do you know that you almost slapped me? Do you know?
You don't..

Becky, Becky, Becky. It is all about Becky isn't it?
Since you are so pissed off with that guy because of Becky, then go ahead and find that guy.
I knew that uncle was talking to you about me just now but I didn't pay attention to what he was talking..
Dear, who is your stead girlfriend now? Who do you really love now? Me or her?
And to think Kelvin was telling me all the way that you loved me the most..
Becky..

And now while I am typing, what are you doing?
Getting drunk & lying in my living room like no one's business..
I helped you to the toilet & everything. You didn't even know that I totally just fell to the bed & cried..
I am tired, really..

Dear, I am only Seventeen. I am just Seventeen.. I love my family. I love you.
I can't take it anymore longer, I can't stand coldness from my family without receiving what I am suppose to deserve from you!
You are making whatever I am doing to you, a waste! You don't know my heart; you don't know what I am thinking!

You always say that you own everyone alot of things, but have you ever think of me? What about me? Where am I standing in your heart & mind?
I am starting to drift apart from my family & friends.. I am really tired..
Becky.. lols, I was right beside you & you was telling the uncle how much you want to kill that guy for Becky.. lols? AHAHAS !
oyes, I am crying again.. Useless..


有时候，该放手的时候就不应该勉强地留着 …
因为换来的只有一波又一波的；心痛

Labels: I am only seventeen

9/22/2010 11:55:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

我走了 ，或许我们在一起是错的 ..
一起那么久了 ，你有在乎过我吗 ?
为什么你要离开我 ？是不是我又做错了什么 ？
我们在一起 ，经历了那么多 ，难道你已不爱我 ？
心好痛 ，你要离开我 。
是不是我付出得不够多 ？
曾经爱得那么真都付出所有 ，到最后还是我一个 ，我没有把握 ..

Just cried again . Yes , im a crybaby ..
You said that you always thought that i will be there when you need it .
I answered that you can always think that I won't be there anymore .

u didnt know how much you have hurt me ; totally ignorant abt it.
u went out in th middle of the night despite me tellin u not to.
i wanted to follow but u told me to stay at home & rest because ihave work tmr & it was 2.30am in th morning!
ok, itried to sleep despite knowing that this little amount of time wont be enough.
and u sudd called me & asked me to help u find ur wallet & send it to u.
after everything, it was 3.10am. how much time do ihave to sleep?!

ok, iwas worried abt u so icouldnt sleep properly & waited for u..
& wat u tell me in the morning?!
you are going out ! gosh !
ahahs ! and you fucking took my keys with you ! & there is NOTHING in my house for me to eat !
ahahas !
tired ..

Labels: Giving up

9/15/2010 08:30:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

9/9/2010
Went to Punggol Marina with Scotty , Edwin , Jeremy , Kelvin , Johnson , JianHao , Osaka(?), RongJun , XiaoDi(?) , Valerie(?) & met up with Rodney & others .
We was like drinking Materl , beer , coke(for me) & greentea .
Rodney's cousin(?) wanted to find trouble with Kelvin but all was solved in the end .
After that , the guys played True or Dare ; a DISGUSTING game !
Eww .. guys -.- Lucky im a girllll ..
Planned to go Steamboat with Brother the next day but didn't because brother didn't wants .. Saded .

10/9/2010
People at my age normally goes to night-places like St.James , Wavehouse , Dragonfly and other etc ..
Guess we went to ?
Club.Nana ..

Met up with Edwin & Kelvin at HougangGreen to have our dinner/supper . Spiddy called & asked us out & celebrate 'my' birthday .
Yah ! In order to escape from meeting Spiddy , Scott lied to him saying that it was MY birthday so he need to accompany me . And who knows that Spiddy used me as an excuse to meet up .

Was planning to go to Zirca but went to Nana in the end.
Met up in cab with Kelvin , Edwin , Scotty . Jeremy was behind us on his bike .
Reach there and saw Coco *Spiddy's wife* .
And she was like shouting to the guys . Fierce

First sentence she said to me was " Today your birthday ah? "
First action she did to me was hugging me & giving me those kind of angmor's kisses on both cheeks .
Both was done in like immediatly in less than 1 min ! I was totally SHOCK when she brush her cheeks with mine . So my reaction was staring at her , STUN ..
She smelled nice , really ..

The bouncer didn't really allows me to go in because of my too-obvious kiddish face . So Coco was like sliding her arms in mine & tell me to follow her , everything got her so no need scaerd .

Thus , basically , I was being PULLED into Nana ..
First impression of Nana was , WOA ! Full of gangsters & loud ..
It was totally FILLED with gangsters !
So we went in & Spiddy was like introuducing Scotty & gang to their "buddies" .
After that , Coca dragged me into the toilet to give me my angbao . Gosh ? She is good .

After that , alot of stuffs happen .. Fights and quarrels and everything because of Spiddy .
And there is this guy who asked me over to his table while Scotty wasn't with me ! Kelvin didn't help me even though he saw it , ass .
Felt very very sad while accompanying Coco in the cab because of her story . Cried with her .
Although we just knew each other , but you give me the impression of my mother & you have the age to be my mother too , I guess ?
And that's why I can understand how you feel .. Those words that I couldn't said to my mum , are told to you ..

11/9/2010
Happy birthday boy .. I am sorry for being unable to celebrate your birthday with you . Trust me, im really very guilty.
Accompany Scotty to do his tattoo. Yea , he get a tattoo ..
He didn't know but I was am sad that he gets a tattoo .. He have changed , somehow ..
Yes , he did asked for my opinionon putting or not and I told him that I have no rights because it is his body and not mine . So he went & put . Haiz ..
But he seems happy with the tattoo & it looks quite good so I guess , it is alright ?
And it is a tattoo of Cross with his name in it . So yea ..
Happy for him for finding a tattoo that he loves , it is just that .. I felt that tiny bit of sad and maybe .. disappointment ? Haiz ..

Went over PasirRis for chalet . Fight happen again because of Spiddy again .. zzz .

ok .. im lazy to type

Labels: i love youuuuu

9/14/2010 07:53:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

And Scotty is sleeping WITHOUT bathing ! ogosh !
All of a sudden , I am so afraid that something might happen to him in the future . This ain't a cursing but how I am feeling .
How would life be without him ?

Labels: Can we be forever

9/07/2010 10:15:00 PM thus; ibuzzed Y

Am so fucking pissed off till I just feel like fucking throw everythings that comes into my sight ! Fucking pissed ! CCB !

Fuck you la hor ! If I fucking take your fucking cig , may I die a horrible death within this week ! Fuck you la cb ! Maybe if it is in the fucking past and you fucking say that I hid your cig , I might fucking agree because at that fucking point of time , I was fucking trying to make you cut down on smoking . BUT NOW ?! Like hello ! You want to fucking smoke , go ahead la ! I never even fucking try to stop you now yet you are fucking ACCUSING me of hiding your cig ?!
NBCB LA ! If I fucking wants to hide your cig , I won't fucking help you find it ! If I fucking wants to stop you from smoking , I won't fucking lend you my money just to let you buy those fucking cig la ! CB !
And if I want to fucking hide your cig , why would I fucking hide it in YOUR POCKETS ?! Eh please la hor , I am not so fucking stupid like you fucking think I am !
So I am fucking suppose to go " oh darling , I am so sorry for throwing you a temper " when you telll me to just Pretend that the cig MAGICALLY appear in your pockets .. ogosh ! we are in a Harry Potter's world ! ogosh !

Please la hor , WHEN DIDN'T I ADMIT WHAT I DID ! NOT WHEN WE QUARREL OR SOME ETC STUFFS !
But when I fucking say it wasn't my fault or done by it , it ISN'T ! Ok ?! When I fucking steals stuffs , I admit . When I fucking scolds someone , I admit . When I fucking fucking fucking anything , I admit .
But I fucking NEVER TOUCH YOUR CIG


Damn fucking pissed man ! And my noodles are burning !

Labels: Just pissed like fucking fuck

9/06/2010 10:33:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

All of a sudden , felt this kind of useless feeling about myself . Is it the mens that is causing my brain to work in a depress mode ? But this kind of feelings had been going on and off ..
Felt like dying , leaving or just anything but continue being a burden .
Hahas ..


TONA

Labels: Pathetic

9/04/2010 05:46:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

Those that are cunning;
aren't scary.
Those that appears innocent;
then are.

-BuzzingBee-

Poh Hong
Mostly known as Bee instead. The one that goes Buzzing and not Crying.
5th July
Proud Cancerian

-BuzzingBee-