It is 4.01am and it is a Friday morning!
Been asleep from 4pm+ till now. Didn't eat anything throughout the whole day. Really ate NOTHING at all! gosh~ Nothing at home for me to eat now. Saded..

Time seems to passing quite fast for me. Really..
When was the day you left my life? I couldn't remember at all. Really..
All I remembered for these past few days was the 1st time we met; or I should put it in this way. For the past few days after you left my life, all I thought of was all the past memories.. All those happy happy stuffs.. Those are the only few things that came popping up my mind. I couldn't recall automatically those bad stuffs.

Broke down on Thursday's afternoon. Cried and cried in the bathroom while bathing. It felt good, really.. Kinda relieve, really..
At the moment, I really miss you alot, really love you alot, really.. Those messages are sent without the intention from my mind but from my heart. Hmm.. Understand? It means that I sent them from my heart without listening to my brain.. Aiyoh, is like..
Brain: Don't send! You would only disgrace yourself & make him step all over your pride!
Heart: No.. I really feel like sending. I have to send! It hurts! It really hurts!
Yea, hahas.. This is kinda the 'war' between my brain & heart.
So lei, I still sent it out. Yea, I really hate everything!
But I hate you because I love you too much..

You had hurt me alot alot, really..
After crying & everything, went to bed & felt so sick.. So fell asleep.
You didn't keep to your promise and reply what you should reply..
Well, I guess time really will heal. I don't know my feelings now but so far, IF I AM NOT LYING TO MYSELF WHICH I DON'T KNOW TOO, I don't feel too much of sadness & heartbroken.. All I am worried about now is.. Yea, you should know, Kelvin should know too.. Hahas!
Kelvin ah Kelvin~ Maybe I really do treat you as someone I could trust already I guess? Even though I always told Scott that you guys are his friends and not mine, but I think you are the only friend of his that I trust already.
Rong Jun was one of the person I trust but that was IN THE PAST already. It was only you & him who knew that news last time & now, only you know. I really hope you won't break my trust, really.. I really do treat you as my friend already.. Well, be proud ^^ Because I seldom treat guys as real friend. ^^

Hais.. Just had a dream just now. Dreamt that Scott was in my house BUT he was with one of his ex.
Actually he didn't know about this, but I had heard rumours out there before that he was just toying with me. That was months ago though.. I never belief them, really.. Even though I might be saying sarcastic words everytime, But I don't believe them at all.. But now, I really don't know.

I really never want to quarrel even after we ended up like this. I called & messaged you everytime peacefully but you was the one who always make it till so bad.
I couldn't understand, when you was with me, you didn't want to go out. You spent the whole afternoon & morning sleeping.. You don't even wants to go to Compass Point with me. However, you can go running around with your friends.
Maybe Kelvin is wrong.. Hahas, Gosh, I am crying again~
Maybe Kelvin is wrong.. I am not the one that you love & treasure most. To you, it doesn't matters whether am I there or not.. Really..
Do you know that you really broke my heart? You are the guy that I love & treasured the most but.. Hahas.. I guess this is retribution for me. I didn't know how to treasure my exs in the past & now, I am in love with someone who doesn't know how to treasure me..

All are lies.. Your forever are lies.. Your 10, 20 years are lies.. Your happy family are lies..
You asked me to believe in forever, you asked me to believe in 10, 20 years, you asked me to believe in happy family, you asked me to believe you..
But you don't even believe in them!
You knew about my family. You knew that I don't trust in relationship. You asked me to believe in you but why must you lie to me?
After 7 months of being together & almost 2/3 of it, we were sticking together everyday. After 7 months of being together and going through so many & even things that some don't go through, you still don't understand me..

Well, I guess this isn't a fairytale world so I won't be having a fairytale love. Time will heal, really.. After everything is done, I really will be ok..
I am already starting to heal, really.. You can put down a relationship easily doesn't mean I can. So why must I blame you for not loving me as much as I do to you? I really think it through already.. I really grow up already.
Jervis's birthday is coming soon..
I guess I will be ok soon. really.. As long as you don't pissed me off again. Teehee!!

Just talk to mum & was planning about Baby's birthday! OMG! Hahas! can't imagine Baby's face when he saw the cake!
The only few things that kept me alive still even after it & now again are both my brothers.
Well, you used to be one of the reasons that kept me alive especially before & after June.. Teehee.. Would you be my reason again? Just wondering..

But well, this time it is different already isn't it? Both of us deleted everything already. never mind never mind ^^ Time won't wait for us to be sad!
I wonder how long will it take for me to forget you~ I just hope this get settles fast & life will start getting normal for me again~ and for you too..
I love myself when I am not pissed with you. Because this is the only time when I am calm & think well..
I don't hate you, really. I am not that kind of girl who will harm other. Really. I can't even kill an ant, please~ But you are really the 1st person who can make me go so crazy man!
Crazy baby~ ahahas!

Yea, new day new life! Yawn, I am getting hungry!

Labels: Teehee.. When then can I forget man

11/12/2010 03:57:00 AM thus; ibuzzed Y

Those that are cunning;
aren't scary.
Those that appears innocent;
then are.

-BuzzingBee-

Poh Hong
Mostly known as Bee instead. The one that goes Buzzing and not Crying.
5th July
Proud Cancerian

-BuzzingBee-